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HomeResources and SupportA-Z health resourcesSexual orientation and gender identity

Sexual orientation and gender identity

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Below you will find a variety of resources to help you better understand, cope with and/or support someone with their sexual and gender identity.

Books

Always my child: a parent's guide to understanding your gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, or questioning son or daughter 

Jennings, Kevin; Shapiro, Pat. -- New York: Simon & Schuster, 2003.

Offers advice and support for parents with adolescents dealing with sexual identity, personal confusion, bigotry, tension, and other challenges of being gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered.

Beyond magenta: transgender teens speak out 

Kuklinm, Susan. -- Somerville, Massachusetts: Candlewick Press, 2014.

Author and photographer Susan Kuklin met and interviewed six transgender or gender-neutral young adults and used her considerable skills to represent them thoughtfully and respectfully before, during, and after their personal acknowledgment of gender preference. Portraits, family photographs, and candid images grace the pages, augmenting the emotional and physical journey each youth has taken.

Gender born, gender made: raising healthy gender-nonconforming children 

Ehrensaft, Diane. -- New York: Experiment, 2011.

This book seeks to humanize the experience of gender-nonconforming and to remind us that children often will tell you what they need, if only we learn how to listen.

The gender quest workbook: a guide for teens & young adults exploring gender identity 

Testa, Rylan Jay. -- Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications, 2015.

If you are a transgender and gender nonconforming (TGNC) teen, you may experience unique challenges with identity and interpersonal relationships. In addition to experiencing common teen challenges such as body changes and peer pressure, you may be wondering how to express your unique identity to others. This book incorporates skills, exercises, and activities from evidence-based therapies-such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to help you address the broad range of struggles you may encounter related to gender identity, such as anxiety, isolation, fear, and even depression.

I am Jazz 

Herthel, Jessica; Jennings, Jazz. -- New York: Dial Books for Young Readers, 2014.

This is the story of a transgender child who traces her early awareness that she is a girl in spite of male anatomy and the acceptance she finds through a wise doctor who explains her natural transgender status.

The lives of transgender people 

Beemyn, Genny; Rankin, Susan -- New York: Columbia University Press, 2011.

Responding to a critical need for greater perspectives on transgender life in the United States, the authors apply their extensive expertise to a groundbreaking survey-one of the largest ever conducted in the U.S - on gender development and identity-making among transsexual women, transsexual men, cross-dressers, and gender-queer individuals.

Mother-talk: conversations with mothers of lesbian daughters and FTM transgender children 

Pearlman, Sarah F. -- Toronto: Demeter, 2012.

This is a collection of stories of twenty-four mothers; twelve who found out a daughter was a lesbian and twelve who learned that a child, once a biological female, was planning to transition to male. It captures the complexity of coming to terms with the loss of a daughter, who now lives in a different world and will live a different life. This book will help other mothers to understand their changed lives and their determination to remain connected.

My child is gay: how parents react when they hear the news 

Crow's Nest, Australia: Allen & Unwin, 2006.

This is a collection of letters by parents which share the journey towards understanding and acceptance of their child's sexuality.

My princess boy: a mom's story about a young boy who loves to dress up 

Kilodavis, Cheryl. -- New York: Aladdin, 2011.

This is a non-fiction picture book about acceptance. It tells the tale of a 4-year-old boy who happily expresses his authentic self by enjoying "traditional girl" things like jewelry, sparkles, or anything pink. It is designed to start and continue a dialogue about unconditional friendship and teaches children and adults how to accept and support children for who they are and how they wish to look.

Queer: the ultimate LGBT guide for teens 

Belge, Kathy; Bieschke, Marke. -- San Francisco, CA: Zest Books, 2011.

Written especially for LGBT teens, this book includes advice on: coming out to friends and family; navigating social and dating life; dealing with queerphobia; standing up for rights; and more. It includes personal stories from the authors as well as facts about landmark events in queer history.

The queer and transgender resilience workbook: skills for navigating sexual orientation and gender expression

Singh, Anneliese A. -- Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications, Inc., 2018.

This book teaches readers to challenge internalized negative messages, handle stress, embrace who they are, remove obstacles from their life, and ultimately build a life that matters in a world still filled with micro-aggressions and discrimination.

Ryan's mom is tall 

Jopling, Heather -- Cobourg, ON: Nickname Press, 2006.

This comparative book of opposites highlights the differences between Ryan's Mom and Mummy while using a puzzle motif to create a picture of families in the new millennium.

FAM HQ 777.8 .J66 2006

Sam the transformer 

Armstrong, KJ. -- London, UK: Austin MacAulay Publishers, 2018.

Sam knew she was not quite the same as the other girls, and she was not sure why. Sam has always felt like she doesn't quite fit. She doesn't like dresses and their swish-swish on her legs; she doesn't like playing with dolls either, and she'd much rather climb on the jungle gym with the boys during her lunch. Although she's not sure why she's different, she knows that she is. Then one day Sam learns something that completely transforms her world.

She's not there: a life in two genders 

Boylan, Jennifer Finney. -- New York: Broadway Books, 2013.

A memoir that tells the story of a person who changed genders chronicles the life of James, a critically acclaimed novelist, who eventually became Jenny, a happy and successful English professor.

Some assembly required: the not-so-secret life of a transgender teen 

Andrews, Arin. -- New York: Simon & Schuster BFYR, 2014.

Seventeen-year-old Arin Andrews shares all the hilarious, painful, and poignant details of undergoing gender reassignment as a high school student.

Trans [DVD]

SexSmart Films -- New Hope, PA: SexSmartFilms, 2012.

Trans is an up-close and very personal journey into the transgender world through the memorable stories and the unusual lives of a remarkable cast of characters. These are the stories of boys and girls, men and woman ... and all the shades in between. Stories of extraordinary people who face fear, discrimination, ignorance and violence in the hopes they might one day be able to live ordinary lives.

Trans bodies, trans selves: a resource for the transgender community 

Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2014.

Each chapter takes the reader through an important transgender issue, such as race, religion, employment, medical and surgical transition, mental health topics, relationships, sexuality, parenthood, arts and culture, and many more. Anonymous quotes and testimonials from transgender people who have been surveyed about their experiences are woven throughout, adding compelling, personal voices to every page. In this unique way, hundreds of viewpoints from throughout the community have united to create this strong and pioneering book. It is a welcoming place for transgender and gender-questioning people, their partners and families, students, professors, guidance counselors, and others to look for up-to-date information on transgender life.

Transgender 101: a simple guide to a complex issue 

Teich, Nicholas M; Green, Jamison. -- New York: Columbia University Press, 2012.

Written by a social worker, popular educator, and member of the transgender community, this resource combines a portrait of transgenderism with a history of transgender life and its unique experiences of discrimination. Each chapter explains how transgender individuals handle their gender identity, how others view it within the context of non-transgender society, and how the transitioning of genders is made possible. Featuring men who become women, women who become men, and those who live in between and beyond traditional classifications, this book is written for students, professionals, friends, and family members.

The transgender child 

Brill, Stephanie A -- San Francisco: Cleiss Press, 2008.

This comprehensive first of its kind guidebook explores the unique challenges that thousands of families face every day raising their children in every city and state. Through extensive research and interviews, as well as years of experience working in the field, the authors cover gender variance from birth through college.

The transgender teen: a handbook for parents and professionals supporting transgender and non-binary teens 

Brill, Stephanie A.; Kenny, Lisa. -- San Francisco: Cleiss Press, 2016.

Explore the unique challenges that thousands of families face every day raising a teenager who may be transgender, gender-variant or gender-fluid.

FAM HQ 77.9 .B75 2016

Transitions of the heart: stories of love, struggle and acceptance by mothers of transgender and gender variant children

Berkeley, CA: Cleis Press, 2012.

This is the first collection to ever invite mothers of transgender and gender variant children of all ages to tell their own stories about their child's gender transition. Representing a diversity of backgrounds and sexual orientations, these mothers affirm the experience of those who have raised and are currently raising transgender and gender variant children.

When Kayla was Kyle 

Fabrikant, Amy. -- Lakewood, California: Avid Readers Publishing Group, 2013.

Kyle doesn't understand why the other kids at school call him names. He looks like other boys, but doesn't feel like them. Can Kyle find the words to share his feelings about his gender -- and can his parents help him to transition into the girl he was born to be?

Websites

  •  PFLAG Canada
  • Rainbow Health Ontario
  • Transparent Canada 
  • Gay, Lesbian and Transgender Health – MedlinePlus from the U.S. National Library of Medicine
  • Gender Creative Kids Canada
  • Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Teens: Facts for Teens and Their Parents - Healthy Children
  • It Gets Better Project
  • Transkids - Purple Rainbow Foundation
  • PFLAG
  • Sexual Attraction and Orientation - Kids Health - Information for Kids, Teens and Parents from the Nemours Foundation
  • Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity - Kids Help Phone
  • Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Health - Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

Pamphlets

Sexual orienation and supporting children and youth who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, two-spirit, queer & questioning

You are free to copy and redistribute these materials in any medium or format. This work may not be used for commercial purposes. View the full Creative Commons license. 

Apps

Refugee Restroom

  • From Harlan Kellaway
  • Free
  • Available from iTunes and Google Play

Always There

  • Kids Help Phone
  • Free
  • Available from Google Play and iTunes

Videos

  •  The talk": Sexual health & sexual identity by Dr. Stephen Feder (5 parts) - CHEO connects

Local contacts

 
  • PFLAG Ottawa
    888-530-6777 
    operations@pflagcanada.ca
  • Lesbian Gay Bi Trans Youth Line Ontario 
    No question is too silly, no problem too serious. We may not have all the answers, but we're here to listen and we'll do our best to help you find the resources you need. We are sex positive and non-judgemental. We're here to help youth who are 26 and under who live anywhere in Ontario.
    800-268-9688
    Text Messaging: 647-694-4275
    askus@youthline.ca 
  • Family Services Ottawa
    312 Parkdale Avenue
    Ottawa, ON K1Y 4X5
    613-725-3601
    fsfo@familyservicesottawa.org

Definitions

 

Sexual orientation

Emotional, romantic, or sexual feelings toward other people. While sexual behavior involves the choices one makes in acting on one’s sexual orientation, sexual orientation is part of the human condition, one’s sexual activity does not define one’s sexual orientation; typically, it is the attraction that helps determine orientation.

Gender identity

One’s deeply held core sense of being a woman, man, some of both, or neither. One’s gender identity does not always correspond to biological sex. Awareness of gender identity is usually experienced as early as 18 months old.

Cisgender

Refers to an individual whose gender identity aligns with the one typically associated with the sex assigned to them at birth.

Transgender

Often shortened to trans. A term describing a person’s gender identity that does not necessarily match their assigned sex at birth. Transgender people may or may not decide to alter their bodies hormonally and/or surgically to match their gender identity. This word is also used as an umbrella term to describe groups of people who transcend conventional expectations of gender identity or expression—such groups include, but are not limited to, people who identify as transsexual, genderqueer, gender variant, gender diverse, and androgynous. See above for common acronyms and terms including female to male (or FTM), male to female (or MTF), assigned male at birth (or AMAB), assigned female at birth (or AFAB), genderqueer, and gender expansive.

Non-binary

Refers to individuals who identify as neither man or woman, both man and woman, or a combination of man or woman. It is an identity term which some use exclusively, while others may use it interchangeably with terms like genderqueer, gender creative, gender nonconforming, gender diverse, or gender expansive. Individuals who identify as nonbinary may understand the identity as falling under the transgender umbrella, and may thus identify as transgender. Sometimes abbreviated as NB or Enby.

For more in-depth lists of sexuality and gender identity definitions, visit the PFLAG website.

Disclaimer

These resources are for educational purposes only. If you have any questions, ask your health-care provider.

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